| Back to Home Page | Back to Book Index |
Husband
and Wife
Spousal Encouragement
In 1849
when Nathaniel
Hawthorne was dismissed from his government job in the customs house
he went
home in despair. His wife listened to his tale of woe
set pen and ink on the
table
lit the fire
put her arms around his shoulders and said
“Now you will
be able to write your novel.”
Spousal Encouragement
Katherine
the wife of
Martin Luther
dramatically revived the depressed Reformer’s confidence in
God’s providence. This has been versified by F.W. Herzberger:
One
day when skies loomed the blackest
This
greatest and bravest of men
Lost
heart and in an oversad spirit
Refused
to take courage again
Neither
eating or drinking nor speaking
To
anxious wife
children or friends
Till
Katherine dons widow garments
And
deepest of mourning pretends.
Surprised
Luther asked why she sorrowed.
“Dear
Doctor
” his Katie replied
“I
have cause for the saddest of weeping
For
God in His heaven has died!”
Her
gentle rebuke did not fail him
He
laughingly kissed his wise spouse
Took
courage
and banished his sorrow
And
joy again reigned in the house.
── Michael P. Green《Illustrations for Biblical
Preaching》
Duty
of Husbands
The
Most Important Thing
Men's Life magazine surprised itself with a
survey -- asked its readers "What's the most important thing in your
life?" And no
it was not sex
it was not career
it was neither fame nor fortune.
The
most important things to 63 percent of the men were their wives and ninety
percent of married men called their wives their best friend. -- Associated
Press
Bitterness
The
elderly couple had been married for 50 years - 50 full years of misery. They had fought every day of their
marriage. It was the typical
standoff: she said she would change
when he did
and he said he would change when she did.
The
couple's children threw a 50th wedding anniversary party for them. After the celebration had ended and the
guests were gone
the wife turned to her husband and said
"We've lived
together for 50 years
but its been miserable. We've fought every day."
She
paused. "Now I think it's time
to change. In fact
I've been
praying that things would change.
I've been praying that the Lord would take one of us home. And when he answers my prayer...I'm
going to go live with my sister in
Divorce
Dissolving a marriage is
not like dissolving a business partnership
or even like deserting from the
army. Indeed
many psychologists have stated that it is second in emotional
impact only to the death of a spouse. ──
Michael P. Green《Illustrations
for Biblical Preaching》
Divorce
On a television show
“Divorce Wars
” a thriving divorce lawyer found himself on the brink of
divorce
even though he strongly believed in family life. As he began to ponder
why his marriage was falling apart
he asked a friend the following question:
“Max
how did you stay married for thirty five years?”
Max
being older
had a
rather illuminating answer: “I guess in our generation we didn’t expect as much
from each other—and we ended up getting more. ──
Michael P. Green《Illustrations
for Biblical Preaching》
Divorce
”I will never marry
again”—said by Barbara Hutton (who was at the time heiress to the
forty-five-million-dollar Woolworth fortune)
after divorcing her second
husband
Count Kurt Heinrich Haughwitz-Hardenberg-Reventlow
in 1941.
“I will never marry again.
You can’t go on being a fool forever”—said by Barbara Hutton
after divorcing
her third husband
Cary Grant
in 1945.
“This is positively my
final marriage”—said by Barbra Hutton
after marrying her sixth husband
Baron
Gottfried von Kramm
in 1955.
“He’s a composite of all my
previous husbands’ best qualities without any of the bad qualities… I have
never been so happy in my life”—said by Barbra Hutton
after marrying her
seventh husband
Prince Doan Vinh de Champacak of Vietnam
in 1964
In November
1966 Barbra
Hutton and Prince Doan Vinh de Champacak of Vietnam filed for divorce. ── Michael P. Green《Illustrations
for Biblical Preaching》
Divorce
Sylvester Stallone
filmdom’s “Rocky
”
was quoted by Sports Illustrated as saying
“Boxing is a great exercise—as long
as you can yell ‘cut’ whenever you want to.”
Many people go into
marriage the same way. They figure it’s great mental
emotional
or even
physical exercise as long as you can cut out whenever you want to! ── Michael P. Green《Illustrations
for Biblical Preaching》
Effect
of Divorce
The results of a 1978
survey reveal that the main causes of loneliness usually have their origins in
childhood. Children who were less than six years of age when parents were divorced
were by far the loneliest as adults. ──
Michael P. Green《Illustrations
for Biblical Preaching》
Effect
of Divorce
The conclusion of a
five-year study by Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia on who is
most hurt in a divorce is that ‘small boys are the worst victims of divorce and
their painful attempts to adjust often lead them into a mutually destructive
conflict with their mothers.” ──
Michael P. Green《Illustrations
for Biblical Preaching》
Responsibility
for Divorce
”As a pastor in three different
churches
encompassing twenty-eight years
I’m beginning to wonder if there is
such a thing as an innocent party.”— Dr. Stephen Olford.
Foolishness
Ivana
and Donald Trump have signed yet another legal document allowing both to date
other people without influencing any subsequent divorce proceedings. -- Associated
Press
Why do toymakers watch the
divorce rate? When it rises
so do toy sales. According to the analyzers
four
parents and eight grandparents tend to compete for children's affections
so
buy toys.──
L.M. Boyd
Spokesman Review
March
15
1993.
A few years ago
the Harry
S. Truman Library in Independence
MO made public 1
300 recently discovered
letters that the late President wrote to his wife
Bess
over the course of a
half-century. Mr. Truman had a lifelong rule of writing to his wife every day
they were apart. He followed this rule whenever he was away on official
business or whenever Bess left Washington to visit her beloved Independence.
Scholars are examining the letters for any new light they may throw on
political and diplomatic history. For our part
we were most impressed by the
simple fact that every day he was away
the President of the United States took
time out from his dealing with the world's most powerful leaders to sit down
and write a letter to his wife.── Bits & Pieces
October 15
1992
pp. 15-16.
Seoul -- At his father's
funeral
American Carl Lewis placed his 100-meter gold medal from the 1984
Olympics in his father's hands. "Don't worry
" he told his surprised
mother. "I'll get another one."
A year later
in the
100-meter final at the 1988 games
Lewis was competing against Canadian
world-record-holder Ben Johnson. Halfway through the race Johnson was five feet
in front. Lewis was convinced he could catch him. But at 80 meters
he was
still five feet behind. It's over
Dad
Lewis thought. As Johnson crossed the
finish
he stared back at Lewis and thrust his right arm in the air
index
finger extended. Lewis was exasperated. He had noticed Johnson's bulging
muscles and yellow-tinged eyes
both indications of steroid use.
"I didn't have the
medal
but I could still give to my father by acting with class and
dignity
" Lewis said later. He shook Johnson's hand and left the track.
But then came the announcement that Johnson had tested positive for anabolic
steroids. He was stripped of his medal. The gold went to Lewis
a replacement
for the medal he had given his father.── David
Wallechinsky in The Complete Book of the Olympics
Reader's Digest.
Instead of writing the
usual "housewife" title while filling out a form asking for his
spouse's occupation
one man wrote in: "Domestic Goddess."
Mrs. Bob Evans
April
1980
Reader's Digest.
Bob Greene (in the Detroit
Free Press) cited a study by attorney Michael Minton on the monetary value of a
wife's services in the home. First he listed the various functions she
performs: chauffeur
gardener
family counselor
maintenance worker
cleaning
woman
housekeeper
cook
errand runner
bookkeeper/budget manager
interior
decorator
caterer
dietitian
secretary
public relations person
hostess.
Using this impressive list of household duties
Minton figured the dollar value
of a housewife's work in today's (1981) labor market. He came up with the
amount of $785.07 a week. That's $40
823.64 a year!
Source Unknown.
Bishop Taylor came the
closest of anyone to capturing the sentiment of Proverbs 31 when he wrote:
"If you are for pleasure
marry. If you prize rosy health
marry. A good
wife is heaven's last best gift to a man; his angel of mercy; minister of
graces innumerable; his gem of many virtues; his box of jewels; her voice
his
sweetest music; her smiles
his brightest day; her kiss
the guardian of
innocence; her arms
the pale of his safety; the balm of his health; the balsam
of his life; her industry
his surest wealth; her economy
his safest steward;
her lips
his faithful counselors...and her prayers
the ablest advocates of
heaven's blessing on his head."
Today in the Word
July
1989
p. 44.
In order to uncover the
processes that destroy unions
marital researchers study couples over the
course of years
and even decades
and retrace the star-crossed steps of those
who have split up back to their wedding day. What they are discovering is
unsettling. None of the factors one would guess might predict a couple's
durability actually does: not how in love a newlywed couple say they are; how
much affection they exchange; how much they fight or what they fight about. In
fact
couples who will endure and those who won't look remarkably similar in
the early days.
Yet when psychologists
Cliff Notarius of Catholic University and Howard Markman of the University of
Denver studied newlyweds over the first decade of marriage
they found a very
subtle but telling difference at the beginning of the relationships. Among
couples who would ultimately stay together
5 out of every 100 comments made
about each other were putdowns. Among couples who would later split
10 of
every 100 comments were insults. That gap magnified over the following decade
until couples heading downhill were flinging five times as many cruel and
invalidating comments at each other as happy couples. "Hostile putdowns
act as cancerous cells that
if unchecked
erode the relationship over
time
" says Notarius
who with Markman co-authored the new book We Can
Work It Out. "In the end
relentless unremitting negativity takes
control and the couple can't get through a week without major blowups."
U.S. News & World
Report
February 21
1994
Page 67.