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Excuses
Excuses
An excuse has been defined as the skin of a
reason stuffed with a lie. ── Michael P. Green《Illustrations for Biblical Preaching》
Excuses
A farmer asked his neighbor if he might
borrow a rope.
“Sorry
” said the neighbor. “I’m using my rope
to tie up my milk.”
“Rope can’t tie up milk.”
“I know
” replied the neighbor
“but when a
man doesn’t want to do something
one reason is as good as another.” ── Michael
P. Green《Illustrations
for Biblical Preaching》
Excuses
All of us are tempted to make rather
ridiculous excuses to others
and sometimes even to God. If we would
consciously examine our excuses
we would discover how ridiculous most of them
sound. Someone has collected a few choice excuses that were offered to police
officers in relation to automobile accidents:
“An invisible car came out of nowhere
struck
my car and vanished.”
“I had been driving my car for forty years
when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.”
“I pulled away from the side of the road
glanced at my mother-in-law
and headed over the embankment.”
“ The guy was all over the road
I had to
swerve several times before I hit him.”
“The pedestrian had no idea which way to go
so I ran him over.”
“Suddenly a tree was there
where no tree had
been before!” ── Michael P. Green《Illustrations for Biblical Preaching》
Excuses
So you think you have problems...Below
are some more samples of actual reports filed with police and insurance
companies:
* I was taking my canary to the
hospital
it got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end
and there was a crash.
* I approached the intersection
a
stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared
before. I was unable to stop in
time to avoid the accident.
* To avoid hitting the bumper of the
car in front
I hit the pedestrian.
* My car was legally parked as it
backed into the other vehicle.
* I told the police that I was not
injured
but upon removing my hat
I found that I had a fractured skull.
* When I saw I could not avoid a
collision
I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
* I saw the slow moving
sad faced old
gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
* I was thrown from my car as it left
the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.
* The accident happened when the right
front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal.
- Coming home
I drove into a wrong
house and collided with a tree I didn't have.
- The other car collided with mine
without giving warning of its intentions.
- I collided with a stationary truck
coming the other way.
- A pedestrian hit me and went under
my car.
- I had been learning to drive with
power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found
myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
- I was backing my car out of the
driveway in the usual manner
when it was struck by the other car in the same
place it had been struck several times before.
- I was on my way to the doctor's with
rear end trouble when the universal joint gave way causing me to have an
accident. ── Michael P. Green《Illustrations
for Biblical Preaching》
Reason
He that will not reason is a bigot; he that
cannot reason is a fool; and he that dares not to reason is a slave.— Sir William
Drummond (1585~1649).
Reason
We must always recognize what Blaise Pascal
put so beautifully when he said
“The ultimate purpose of reason is to bring us
to the place where we see that there is a limit to reason.” ── Michael P. Green《Illustrations for Biblical Preaching》
Whoever wants to be judge
of human nature should study people's excuses.
Hebbel.
Deion "Prime
Time" Sanders
outfielder for the Atlanta Braves and cornerback for the
Atlanta Falcons
is the only athlete to have hit a Major League home run and
scored an NFL touchdown in the same week. Sanders grew up on the mean streets
of Fort Myers
Fla.
where exposure to some would-be athletes spurred him to
make a success of himself. He explains: "I call them Idas. 'If I'da done
this
I'd be making three million today...If I'da practiced a little harder
I'd be a superstar.' They were as fast as me when they were kids
but instead
of working for their dreams they chose drugs and a life of street corners. When
I was young
I had practice; my friends who didn't went straight to the streets
and never left. That moment after school is the moment we need to grab. We
don't need any more Idas.
Mike Lupica in Esquire.
Lawyer and statesman
Daniel Webster was a powerful orator who gave early evidence of his quick mind
and way with words. One day Webster's father
who was to be absent from home
left Daniel and his brother Ezekiel specific work instructions. But on his
return he found the task still undone
and questioned his sons about their idleness.
"What have you been doing
Ezekiel?" he asked. "Nothing
sir." "Well
Daniel
what have you been doing?" "Helping
Zeke
sir."
Today in the Word
September 19
1992.
A poor workman always
finds fault with his tools.
Bits & Pieces
May 1990
p.
10.
John L. Swigert
Jr.
the
Apollo 13 astronaut who went to the moon in 1970
recalls how his job almost
interfered with filing his federal income-tax forms: "On the second day of
Apollo 13
April 12
I asked Mission Control to begin work to get me an
extension of the filing date for my income tax. Since I had been a last-minute
substitution on the Apollo 13 flight
things had moved so fast that I didn't
have a chance to file my return." The IRS didn't have to make a special
ruling to grant Swigert a two-month extension because of his
I'm-on-my-way-to-the-moon excuse
though. There was already a regulation that
provided an automatic extension for anyone out of the country.
Clyde Haberman and Albin
Krebs in New York Times.
A radio news series about
honesty in America talked about excuses. The commentator said that people use
three types of excuses when guilty of wrongdoing. The first is outright
denial a rejection of any involvement. Sometimes this is done even though
the person is obviously guilty. The second is the "It's not my fault"
excuse. The person looks around for someone he can blame. (Often it is a loved
one - a husband or wife or parent. Sometimes it's the boss.) A third form of
excuse is the "I did it
but...." approach. In this instance the
person blames circumstances for his shortcoming. Either he's been struggling
with some illness or the assignment wasn't clear or the car's been giving him
trouble.
Source Unknown.
Ten Most Used Excuses:
1. I forgot.
2. No one told me to go ahead.
3. I didn't think it was that important.
4. Wait until the boss comes back and ask him.
5. I didn't know you were in a hurry for it.
6. That's the way we've always done it.
7. That's not in my department.
8. How was I to know this was different?
9. I'm waiting for an O.K.
10. That's his job--not mine.
Bits & Pieces
November
1989
p. 18.
After discussing how
students must at least be competent in reading
writing
listening
analyzing
and computing before they will be graduated from high school in 1978
one
administrator contacted provided the the following list. The excuses it
contains were actually turned in by parents to one school district (outside of
Tillamook County).
1. Dear school: Please
ackuse John for bring absent on Jan. 28
29
30
31
32
33.
2. Chris has an acre in his side.
3. Mary could not come to school because she is bothered by very close veins.
4. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
5. I kept Billie Home because he had to go Christmas shopping because I didn't
know what size she wear.
6. Please excuse Gloria. She has been sick and under the doctor.
7. My son is under the doctors care and should not take P.E. Please execute
him.
8. Lillie was absent from school yesterday as she had a groing over.
9. Please excuse Ray Friday. He has lose vowels.
10. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell out of a
tree and misplaced her hip.
11. Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.
12. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in
his growing part.
13. My daughter was absent yesterday
because she was tired. She spent the
weekend with the Marines.
14. Please excuse Dianne from Being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.
15. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
Source Unknown.
According to a UPI news
item
the Metropolitan Insurance Company received some unusual explanations for
accidents from its automobile policyholders. The following are just few:
An invisible car came out
of nowhere
struck my car
and vanished.
The other car collided with mine without warning me of its intention.
I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had
the accident.
As I reached an intersection
a hedge sprang up
obscuring my vision.
I pulled away from the side of the road
glanced at my mother-in-law
and
headed over the embankment.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go
so I ran over him.
The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its path
when it struck my front end.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit
him.
The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big
mouth.
UPI News.